For years, I had wanted to write anything again.
For years, I had not a single grain of energy nor the inspiration to write anything again.
I'm guessing it was because I was too caught up in things that I should do. I was determined BEFORE to make this blog my online journal. However 2016-2017 proved to be the busiest year in my life as an Education student. Between the teaching demos, class reporting, field studies, school organization duties, and stupendous projects, I didn't find time to write, even through traditional pen-and-paper journaling. Sure there were some moments in those years worth writing about - and I right now regret not writing about them - but back then I was just too physically tired to spend some extra time writing.
I had my first teaching job from June 2017 to the beginning of March 2020. These were the years that were the epitome of "tired" in my life. My first year of teaching was physically exhilarating. Physically, just that, physically. The following two years were physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. It even came to a point in my third year of teaching when I am not sure if I still can give love to my students anymore, because merely stepping into that place just drains me out of love. You see, as a teacher, it is hard if you cannot give even an ounce of love to your students. I am pretty sure the bad year they had was because I wasn't able to pour as much love to them as I did to my students the first two years. What's worse is that, my students were NOT at fault for it; some ~higher forces~ in that place was mainly at fault. I don't cry often at school but there were times I would just daydream of getting the hell out of that place and abandon everything that's in there, including the unassuming kids. Yep, that bad.
The five-month-quarantine imposed by the government would have been a good time for me to start writing again, especially the first few weeks. But between the tiredness of the past few years and the imminent danger of contacting COVID, I chose to just chill it out and do nothing but eat and sleep during the first two or three weeks of quarantine. Sure I revisited some of my beloved books and watched some dope shows, but it didn't get me started to want to write again. The weeks after that, I was just too mentally tired from every shitty thing that has and hasn't happen. And trust me, mentally tired is waaaay worse than physically tired.
Then the show The Big Bang Theory came yet again in my life.
You see, I have watched this show before and I quite identify with Leonard and Sheldon's life as lovable nerds. But I watched it before through pirated DVDs (please don't jail me) where the end credits would be cut off probably to save space, plus I kind of stopped watching in the fourth or fifth season. So recently I re-watched it on Netflix (legally! I really pay for my subscription, ha!) and, boy what a relatively great decision I made! The little gems called Chuck Lorre Production Vanity Cards stirred me into wanting to write again.
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| One of Chuck Lorre's vanity cards in TBBT |
You see, these vanity cards are just short whatnots at the end of every episode, but dang, they were funny! Now I admit I am not even half as funny as Chuck Lorre, but he sure made me want to go back to writing. I mean, Lorre writes just about ANYTHING in his vanity cards: production anecdotes, personal musings, wild imaginations, etc. So I thought, if he can write in short bursts, maybe I can too!
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