Right now, I am so fucking tired and so fucking hungry. Never had been THIS tired since the COVID-19 pandemic hit the country. Nevertheless, I have been so tired since March.
It was the 'bad' kind of tired I felt for five dragging months. I wasn't really physically tired (albeit all the workouts I do), but I was tired in other aspects. Although I am fairly introverted, I still want to be with small crowds every now and then. Five loooong months of having no crowds to be with was a bit emotionally and mentally tiring. Don't get me wrong, I love my family to bits, but seeing and talking to the same set of people for five months on end really got into my merves. The occasional phone calls and video calls from my friends didn't help either, as it was more frustrating to talk towards a gadget than it was to talk to actual people.
The disheartening governance of our public officials also contributed to this 'bad' tired thing. When your country has got public officials who do not listen to sound science and ground-level leaders when they absolutely have to, you know you are fucked. I won't enumerate na what frustrating things our government have done (and not done) these five months (and counting); they're all over the news and social media. You can search them online, but if you love yourself, please don't do that. You see, I also stopped closely monitoring news about our government's response to the pandemic for the sake of my mental health.
Officially, I was employed for a month then unemployed for four months during the community quarantine. This is another nail on the 'bad' tired coffin for me. Yes I got tutoring gigs both online and home-based, but they weren't really enough to pay all my bills. Plus, my home-based tutorials met their abrupt end when active COVID cases increased in our barangay. I also wasn't built to be a sales person. Tried selling my pre-loved goodies, but then realized that I have got no energy for that. Tried to engage in online shits that promise good money, but I am just too skeptical to continue.
Today though, was a different kind of tired for me. It was 'good' tired. Nah, not just 'good,' but 'goooooood.' I am just some few steps from being officially employed again! I had just passed my training to ba a Math fellow! I had just finished the tasks for my tutoring gig! My sister-in-law and my boyfriend are employed again! My boyfriend has just got his motorcycle! Okay, that's probably too trivial already.
It was liked five excruciating months of being a tambay, then, boom! Opportunities left and right! Blessings from up above! Lifts from down below!
It was really a 'gooooooood' tired kind of week.
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